The Single Change That Made a Difference: How I Conquered After-Work Stress Through an Unexpected Find in the Attic

I frequently become as tense as a wound-up clock once the workday ends. My shoulders grow tense, my breath turns fast and shallow. Usually, the sound of my laptop lid slamming shut used to lead to the pop of a cork from a wine bottle, wine poured quickly into a glass, that first mouthful putting a much-needed full stop on the working day.

Later, several months back, I discovered my now-adult son’s old school recorder up in the loft. Curious, I blew into it, instantly reminded of the time it was the bane of my life – his daily rehearsals felt like an attack on my ears, the piercing shriek still reverberating through my head hours after he had gone to bed.

Instead of throwing it away, I took it down, along with a book – Very Easy Recorder Tunes. Growing up, I had no musical talent whatsoever. I took recorder classes in primary school, but never had the opportunity to learn other instruments.

Searching online for recorder tutorials, I viewed many kid-friendly YouTube clips, and got a fingering guide on paper. Looking up simple recorder songs, and was thrilled when I managed to knock out a passable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Admittedly, a typical young child could learn it quickly, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it seemed like a major triumph.

My son asked what the hell I was doing (and begged me to quit), but I persevered – I liked the way the recorder made me feel. My inability to remember anything forced me to focus on the music sheet, and carefully mimic the finger placements. My breath calmed, I was focused, and once I’d mastered that first faltering tune, I felt euphoric. I had managed to play music.

Now, several months later, I can handle other children’s songs and a passable Ode to Joy. Sure, my timing is rubbish, and I still need to write the names of the notes down, but to me, it’s not about being skilled or a “musician” – it’s purely about the joy it provides and the fact I can’t think of anything else when I am playing.

I read that only one in six children learn to play the recorder now, which probably relieves parents, yet it made me wistful for my school years, as well as my son’s.

I try to pick up my recorder every evening after work before I do anything else, and during those 20 minutes, I escape into my own realm. And afterwards, I feel refreshed and happy.

My friends find it amusing, yet a therapist friend informed me I was not only lowering my stress levels, and boosting mental skills, like memory and sound processing, which is invaluable at my time of life. And in terms of my day-to-day wellbeing, it’s a real “ode to joy” indeed.