Must A Aspiring Influencer Pal Stop Using Me for Content?

One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?