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From ‘Mood Hoovers’ - Here’s Why Negative Friends Can Benefit You Personally
Myself seek out wisdom from others about handling life’s midpoint hurdles, including existential reckonings, fading relevance, developing a neck resembling a melted timepiece plus a fresh interest about property shows. Recently, I came across his remarks regarding his fiftieth birthday via a discussion: “I think if you’re going to have a good go at the second half of your life, you have to edit away all the noise,” he said. “Spend time with positive individuals. I steer clear of downbeat types – ‘energy vampires’ – and am learning to decline more often.”
My first thought was: doesn’t this conflict between “avoiding negative people” and “getting better at saying no”? Might that suggest he must escape his own nature? I realize – that’s typical energy vampire talk, and I admit I fit the description. Although in our community we actually prefer the expression “energy vampire”. Please avoid “wet blanket” or “fun sponge” too – all this comparing us to utilitarian household items is offensive; we have feelings (albeit mainly negative ones). If forced, I’d agree to “gloomy soft cover”.
It’s possible you’re also a member. Do you tend to be the event’s realist rather than its cheerleader? Does your detailed response to “How are you?” have your interlocutor edging away uncomfortably? Upon hearing “exciting” ideas, do you make a face as if you’ve tasted something vile? Do you strongly identify with Eeyore; has a psychic ever told you your aura is grey?
If this describes you, you’re in our ranks, and that’s acceptable. Although modern wisdom pushes folks to discard “sapping” companions, I contend we bring substantial worth. It’s likely an energy vampire would have expressed doubts – or shown a grimace – upon hearing about the planned book with a First Nations lead done without input, possibly avoiding much trouble, distress, and disrespect. Such critical insights aren’t typical from “positive” friends.
Gregory Thomas
A seasoned gambling analyst with over a decade of experience in the UK casino industry, specializing in slot reviews and player advocacy.
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